Unconditional Love At Its Best

Unconditional love is essential to the manifestation of a person’s spiritual destiny. Unconditional love is love given free of judgment of any kind. It is the love that creates greatness and heals all pain on any level. It is the goal of life on this Earth. I espouse this in my style and belief in the psychotherapy I provide my clients.

An example of this love is the Manning family. Peyton Manning, a great quarterback, grew up in a family where the goal of his parents was to love him and his two brothers. As seen in the television special on the Manning family, Archie Manning described that he wanted his three sons to feel love and his goal was not to “produce” great football players. Yet clearly when the intention and motive is unconditional love from parent to child on a consistent basis, not needing to be perfect for any parent, a child does blossom into their inherent potential.

Trauma’s Symptoms of Addiction

Ever wonder how it is that so many people struggle with addictions of alcohol, drugs, food, gambling, and hoarding. As a psychologist, I have worked with thousands of clients who present in psychotherapy with one or more of these symptoms and struggles. Please know help is here.

These struggles are symptoms of thinking that are based on confusion and internal conflict. These are also signs of a deep repression of feelings. As a colleague of mine once said it is the “F” word humans are most uncomfortable with, “F” representing feelings. Where in our culture are we taught to feel our feelings? Psychotherapy is a cultural and spiritual solution to the healing of addictions and the repression of feelings.

Also addictions are rooted in anxiety which is about fear. Fear unexpressed manifests as anxiety. What this all says is that very often people who have been traumatized have no other option or way to cope other than to “numb” or “deny” their feelings, for the pain of the trauma is huge.

I suggest to ask your self these following questions to assess for addiction issues. If you answer yes to three or more, please contact me as soon as possible for further assessment.

1). Do you say to your self I will stop doing “this” tomorrow? This will be the last time I do “this”?

2). Do you blame your behavior on other people and the people you blame are struggling deeply with what is ‘wrong” with them”?

3). Do you buy things, i.e. clothes and/or food and hide it from your family?

4). Do you experience friends or family reaching out to you and you push them away?

5). Do you cover up your behavior with explanations of “I am tired” or “I did the best I could”?

6). Do you think often what is in this for me?

7). Do people close to you struggle with you not showing up for your responsibilities?

Is it Possible You Are Great

I am here to assist you to bring up and raise your self esteem. Low self esteem is the most under diagnosed “plague” of our time. The key to all joy and success in our life is to know and feel that our self is great and good enough. None of us is better than anybody else yet we are all equal in are worthiness. Each of us have as a birth right to be joyful and manifest all our desires.

Our heart and souls are the center of our motives for our choices. As your psychologist, I will change your life if you allow the healing of the psychotherapy I will provide to you. Psychotherapy with me will allow you to connect with your heart and soul, so your empowerment in your life will be at its all time high. This is where your best choices are made, in you connected with your own heart and soul.

As a psychotherapist for thirty-four years, I am deeply aware how a person needs high self esteem to achieve any and all hopes and dreams in their life. High self esteem may be defined as a positive loving relationship each person has with themselves emotionally and spiritually. A person seeming “cocky “is not confidence in a positive way, yet a cover up for low self esteem/confidence masking as high self esteem.

Low self esteem can manifest in relationship problems, depression, anxiety, anger issues, eating disorders, and job/career struggles.

It is a proven fact that low self esteem robs any human being of most possible love and joy in their life.

A suggestion is to take the following 5 question test to see if self esteem may be a concern for you.

• Do you ask yourself daily if I am doing my job well enough?
• Do you wander if other people like you?
• Do you think thoughts daily, i.e. am I attractive to others?
• Do you ask yourself am I worth pursuing my dreams?
• Do you in your thoughts put yourself down, i.e. I don’t know what I am doing?

If you answer yes to three out of the five, you may have a self esteem that needs some healing. The research is conclusive that high self esteem is the cornerstone to living an effective joyous life.

I invite you to give yourself the gift of psychotherapy, which is where people who want more from life go to get expert assistance.

I, Laurie Grengs, Psychologist can and will help you achieve high self esteem that will be sustained.

Sabrina’s search for Unconditional Love

Sabrina knew quickly the feel of the lack of a nurturing love. We know in the mental health field that unconditional love is the critical experience to receive as a child to develop a sustained high self esteem.

Sabrina did not receive that and many people do not. How do we as a human race over come the lack of such an experience? Sabrina has continued to overcome the severe experience of growing up in a cult by extensive commitment to psychotherapy and being willing to learn and change. That is the reason for the invention of psychotherapy. In the 1800′s people were “blood let” or “locked up in dark dingy wards of institutions” as solutions for depression, anxiety, or trauma. It is very serious business the healing of the human heart and psyche. That is why I, Laurie Grengs, have committed my career to being a psychologist.

Assisting Sabrina and over 10,000 clients heal psychologically is my mission in my life. So what do we do in psychotherapy to assist the healing of people to deal with the lack of unconditional love?

I develop a solid respectful therapeutic relationship with my clients and from there I investigate and search for the root of their emotional and psychological pain. Clients need to “sign up” for the process. In that each person, couple, family, and/or organization I am hired to bring healing, needs to decide on some level that they are willing to do what it takes to engage in the healing process, that is occurring in the therapy or coaching sessions.

If the lack of experiencing unconditional love is what is needing healing, I guide my clients into the “lack”. By facing this lack together with my “help”, people can and do transcend this lack through grieving the loss and then transcending to a new evolution of their personhood, complete with a love for themselves that is solid and long lasting.

Sabrina searched for unconditional love for years and struggled deeply as a result. For the change did not come easy. Sabrina had worked with two previous psychologists before coming to me. I have worked with her for years and continue to do so in less frequency as her goals are coming to more completion. As a psychologist, I have worked with thousands of people where the core of the psychological pain is not receiving unconditional love as a child, as seen in marital problems, alcoholism, drug abuse, panic attacks, eating disorders, and organizations not achieving profitability. Parents are not to blame. Bosses are not to blame. Blaming is not the solution. Respectfully facing “our roots”, healing and moving forward is the way to new self and/or a new organization.

During psychotherapy or coaching, the eagle needs to be remembered. Please see a previous post of mine on The Law of Attraction and Being As An Eagle. Achieving bliss in all areas of a person’s life is more than doable it is.

PTSD: An Inside Look

Ever wondered what PTSD, Post Traumatic Stress Disorder, is actually a diagnosis for? This diagnosis is talked about often by the public and the professionals in the mental health community.

PTSD has been a diagnosis for the battle fatigued men and women soldiers for decades. The men and women that have put their life on the line for our country often are returning with serious trauma issues. Consequently PTSD has been an accurate diagnosis to give these suffering men and women.

On the scene comes the growing awareness that males and females from childhood have experienced trauma from a very mild experience to something very serious, i.e. Sabrina’s story as told on this blog http://www.attainingloveandjoy.com. The classic symptom of PTSD is the “flashback”. The experience for an adult of a flashback, who has experienced as an adult or as a child, trauma, is the adult who is feeling feelings of the past as if the trauma is happening now. The person can thus be “caught” in a sense of reality that has origins in the past.

An example of this is the adult who was sexually abused as a child. Often, as seen in my psychology practice, these adults when having a healthy sexual experience with their spouse may “feel like their are being abused when in fact in the here now hey are not”. Their bodies may respond as if they are being abused by feeling little to no sexual desire, painful intercourse and/ or pre-mature ejaculation.

This is often very painful for the person experiencing this and subsequently people close to this person. Many struggles for the surrounding people of the trauma survivor is how do I assist my loved one move beyond this flashback.

So what needs to happen when the flashback is occurring? Awareness is the a critical first step. Awareness occurs through an understanding
what Post Traumatic disorder is and how it manifests in certain symptoms, which may be very debilitating. Many of my clients over the thirty-three years I have practiced as a psychotherapist and 22 of those years as a Licensed Psychologist, have said to me, “I did not know I was experiencing PTSD and/or a flashback”.

As clients with PTSD progress in psychotherapy with me, each man or woman comes to unravel the history that lead to their diagnosis of Posttraumatic Stress Disorder. This is done with a carefully guided process of examination of the trauma and its subsequent consequences by me their psychologist with the client in therapy sessions. Many people come to examine their PTSD because a loved one or a friend urges them to understand how their experience of the here and now has a “slanted” view. The flashback holds a person hostage to their past. Through assisting the person to stay in the now through many different techniques and exercises, all people have the capability and potential to move beyond the flashback.

Her are 7 symptoms to look for if you are wondering if you or a close person to you may be struggling from PTSD:

!.) Recurring recollections that are upsetting, i.e. thoughts or images of an event that was trauamtic.

2.) Feeling as if the traumatic event was recurring, i.e. flashbacks.

3.) An effort to avoid thoughts or conversations of the traumatic event.

4.) Difficulty falling or staying asleep.

5.) Hypervigilance, i.e. “watching over your shoulder in fear it is going to happen again”.

6.) A sense of your future being shortened in time, i.e. a person feeling or believing they will only live till 40 years old.

7.) Exaggerated startle response, i.e. when a person who has experienced trauma when hearing a loud sound (such as loud clapping hands or loud thunder in a storm) , may feel a deep and quick sense of panic or fear.

If you or a loved one have 4 out 7 of these symptoms, I urge you to call me 763-572-2326 or email me at laurie@lauriegrengs.com to schedule an appointment to assess if you are experiencing Post Traumatic Stress Disorder.

The Law of Attraction

I am going to guide you today to age old yet hidden information about how to change your life and manifest all your desires.

First I would like to share with you that I have a private practice where I provide marriage and couple’s therapy. I am also a Life Coach and Executive Coach. As importantly I provide psychotherapy for clients who struggle with depression, anxiety and Post Traumatic Stress Disorder. I have been in the mental health field for 33 years and have loved it and continue to love every minute of it.

You may wonder why I would love assisting people to change and heal. Let me tell you some of my story of how I came to be a psychologist. I entered Gustavus Adolphus College after high school and had a major of Elementary Education. My first semester at Gustavus I took a psychology class and my life forever changed from that point forward. I remember the professor, the classroom, where I sat in the class, and many of the lectures of the teacher. While in that class for that semester, I was thinking there are answers to many of my questions, i.e. how do we become who we are as human beings? I changed my major and subsequently colleges and graduated from The University of Minnesota Phi Beta Kappa.

So here I am now continuing to love walking with my clients to higher levels of vibration. Now you may ask higher level of vibrations, what does that mean. Since the concept of vibration can mean lot things to different people, I have some explaining to provide to you.

It is called The Law of Attraction, The Law of Deliberate Creating, and The Law of Allowing.

Our thoughts have extraordinary power and vibrate at a frequency just below the frequency of spirit. Keeping our thoughts of our vision foremost in our minds daily puts out into the universe the frequency of our vision and thus a matching frequency will begin its journey to our lives. The universe rearranges any aspect so matching frequencies can attract.

The four basic concepts of The Law of Attraction are “who do you listen to”, “the teach ability index”, “the training balance scale” and “the four steps of learning”.

When any of us want to pursue our dreams, who taught us that whatever you imagine could be yours to have is significant. I know some of us received such a message along the path of life that our desires can be fully manifested, yet others did not. And as importantly, who has taught any of us the accurate process of attracting to us what want to manifest.

In providing psychotherapy for my clients, I teach many people how to heal their emotional wounds and how to manifest their dreams. Of the four basic concepts of The Law of Attraction all are critical to know well, to keep going over and over each concept so these new concepts are deeply ingrained and become automatic in our awareness.

The Law of Attraction has been accurately taught at the turn of the century by Andrew Carnegie, Ester and Jerry Hicks in the 1980’s, and Kevin Trudeau of the Global Information Network and naturalcures.com in the last 7 years.

At other times The Law of Attraction has been taught inaccurately in order to keep the information for the elite class and to decrease competition. The belief of competition is that abundance is limited and that is not true. It is a universal spiritual principle that there is enough of all for everybody on the earth. Thus each human being manifesting their dreams/desires does not take away from anybody else’s manifestation.

So who do you listen to? That is key in creating your dreams. 99% of all people who have been taught The Law of Attraction provide information that is false. I urge you listen to the resources that are telling the truth, i.e. Ester and Jerry Hicks, and you will know the “secret” to success.

This does not replace effective psychotherapy, yet The Law of Attraction is vital to teach all clients as they precede on their healing journey.

The second concept of The Law of Attraction is the teach ability index. How willing are you as a person to learn and how willing are each of us to change. On a scale of 1-10 willingness to learn and willingness to change needs to be consistently be at a 9 or 10. After learning a significant amount of information the willingness on both dimensions of learning and changing will go down yet to have the willingness return quickly is essential to manifesting your dreams.

The third concept, the training balance scale, is the concept of the balance of thoughts and the how of manifesting. (is in balance with our focus daily.) 99% of our focus needs to be on our thoughts and vision and minimal attention on the how our dreams will be manifested. This is one of the critical areas that are mistaught purposely. Most information on realizing our dreams focuses on the how we are to manifest our desires, thus taking the focus off our thoughts.

As stated earlier, our thoughts have extraordinary power and vibrate at a frequency just below the frequency of spirit. Keeping our thoughts of our vision foremost in our minds daily puts out into the universe the frequency of our vision and thus a matching frequency will begin its journey to our lives. The universe rearranges any aspect so matching frequencies can attract.

The fourth concept of The Law of Attraction is the steps we as humans take to learn. It begins with unconscious incompetence, to conscious incompetence, to conscious competence, then unconscious competence.

A critical step in attracting your desires is to know and be conscious of your vision and/or dream. Keep the thought of your desire conscious and bring a positive emotion, i.e. a burning desire, to your thought and hold that for a minimum of 2 minutes, and longer as possible, throughout your waking hours.

The Law of Deliberate Creation and The Law of Allowing I will teach at another time or I welcome you contacting me for further instruction.

Facing, Feeling and Freeing ( the Three F’s ): A case example of Transformation of the Mind, Heart, and Soul

Elizabeth and Thomas arrived at my office at the specified time for their appointment. Elizabeth was crying as she entered the session, her husband standing at her side. She bent over and slid onto the couch in my office and wept.

Thomas, her husband, said to me their psychologist and marriage therapist, she has been crying like this since “it happened” a month ago. I do not know what to do. That is why I called you for an appointment.

He was referring to, what he described on the phone, as her waking up in the middle of the night screaming “get off of me”. Elizabeth had been raped by her brother, nine years her senior, from ages 2 to 7. A month ago the memories were flooding into her dreams. The night terrors had started and she was having difficulty getting to work. Her work, she described in that first session, was her “passion” and gave her extraordinary meaning. Yet her career was slipping away in the last month. All her dreams of taking her professional career to the next level were evaporating. She had lived her life, including her career, with the spiritual intention of abundance and service, yet these intentions which were a mainstay for over a decade, were dying in her heart.

Thomas was looking at the floor most of that initial session with stunned eyes. He teared up several times and was wringing his hands when Elizabeth was telling the memories of the many nights her brother would enter her bedroom, muffle her mouth and subsequently penetrate her vaginally. As Elizabeth looked at me through her tears, she asked is there hope? I emphatically said yes. For you are here asking for help and I know how to assist you to face, feel and free yourself of the emotional pain of the rape of your body and subsequently of your heart and soul.

Freedom is the goal. I told her of my many years of successfully assisting many trauma survivors in my psychology practice. I suggested to her and her husband to research me at my website http://www.lauriegrengs.com and my informational blog at http://www.attainingloveandjoy.com. This was the beginning of their journey into heaven on earth. Elizabeth’s husband, Thomas, was holding her waist as he said “I am in on this journey with my wife”. “I want freedom for our marriage and myself. I love my wife and I am scared”.

The next topic in that first session we discussed is empowerment of each of them as they would proceed in the psychotherapy process. How were they going to face how to feel about the past coming into their present life uninvited? My teaching had started. We discussed resources and with enough resources spiritually, and psychologically, they could face anything. For the many times Elizabeth had discussed being raped, she was not free of the horror. The Three F’s were now the journey. For Elizabeth to cope and survive the trauma of her childhood she had had to store the memories away in her body. Her brain was holding the memories in its neurotransmitter pathways and her heart was holding the feelings deep in the crevasses of the energetic space of her heart.

Elizabeth said to me in this session, why? How come it cannot just stay buried forever?

The gift I shared with Elizabeth and Thomas was the energy used to store the memories has taken away from Elizabeth having all her internal resources freed up for her driving passion of love for her husband and her career, as she described as a vocation. The extraordinary energy that was holding the trauma would be opened through psychotherapy and released for an energetic and spiritual avenue for Elizabeth’s to realize her intentions for her life.

She, Elizabeth, became a brain surgeon against all odds. She grew up in an inner city of a northern state. Both parents’ alcoholic, Elizabeth’s paternal grandmother stepped in and cared for her emotional and educational well-being from high school forward.

Elizabeth’s grandmother had died when she was in college, pre-med. That is where she met Thomas, also a pre-med student. Elizabeth promised her grandmother upon her death bed; with everything she had she would finish college and go to medical school.

I asked Elizabeth, how did you keep the promise to your grandmother? She said, “Resources”. I meditated, prayed, and kept telling myself, “I want to ensure my grandmother’s commitment to me was not made in vain”.

Thus resources had assisted her to this point and resources will take her to her freedom, with her husband at her side. Elizabeth’s dream that she and her husband shared was to live in a third world country and start a medical facility that would service women that had trauma in their history. For little did she know Elizabeth’s past was creating her future of love and joy.